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To do so, I formed a panel consisting of seven top animal experts. They would have been much higher on the list, but they’re not quite individuals. Lolita is the subject of a court case over whether an endangered species is exempt from being forced to put on a mildly entertaining show.

This will inspire all impossibly long-named German shorthaired pointers to cut their hair or wash or whatever is required to win this thing.

The macaque, which is one of an apparently endless number of words for “monkey,” took selfies as part of nature-photographer David Slater’s project in Indonesia. Some teenagers (I’m just assuming it was teenagers) in Costa Rica took a block of wood and smashed a toucan’s beak off.

The last male Northern White Rhinoceros in the world, Sudan is living in Kenya’s Ol Pejeta Conservancy where he is encouraged to breed with two young female Northern White Rhinos, Fatu and Najin. To prevent poaching, he has 24-hour armed guards, watchtowers, drones, guard dogs and transmitters in his horn.

But the episode is also causing India to reconsider whether elephants should be employed this way.